Superficial Saturday Part 3

Superficial Saturday is supposed to be my "easy" day. The day when I don't have to think too hard. Don't have to divulge feelings that are often uncomfortable for me to speak. The day to raise a few eyebrows but maybe garner some giggles. But this morning, when it was time for me to put "pen to paper", I came up dry. I wandered around trying to think of something meaningless but heartfelt, something ridiculous yet witty. Nothing. We left the house as a family to go the Children's Museum a few towns over and thought I'd feel inspired there. SURELY someone would be wearing something to gawk at or snicker at. Surely I'd drool over something that I just HAD to have. Nothing.

So I turned to Tim. Tentatively, I decided I'd hand the idea over to him. Tentative because Mr. Nice Guy never has anything snarky or "superficial" to say about anyone. He's the one who somehow was able to stop my staring/eavesdropping habit out in public. He's the one who thinks I'm cruel and inhumane for ever noticing anyone's mismatched, "so last year", or frumpy outfit. Mean words just don't come out of his mouth. I know, B.O.R.I.N.G. Right?

But he IS witty and creative so I thought he'd at least spark an idea.

So, as we watched our kids dressed as a bear and a skunk, running around the toddler playscape, I pulled him aside and gave him my instructions, "Go find something blog worthy. Anything for me to write about for my Superficial Saturday post. Something snarky. Something, well, superficial."

He turned and looked around for a few minutes and came back to me rather quickly. And now, as I sit here, I am weighing the risk of telling you what exactly he came up with for my topic. I fear that you'll dislike my dear husband for his thought so much that you'll stop reading my blog Forever, or that you'll lose all trust in me when I say that he really is A Nice Guy.

I'm not taking the risk. I'm sorry. It's just not worth it. What he said will forever be locked inside my brain. But his comment did "inspire" my post today because it had to do with this:

And it's the perfect Superficial Saturday fodder.

I have mixed feelings about this thong showing occurance.

Mixed only because I MAY have been here. Well not exactly "here" since I don't own a black thong with little pearls (or is that a chain?) on top but I know at some point, this MAY have happened to me in some form. It's actually the main reason I've stopped wearing a thong. The other reason is that every time I've put a pair on in Hannah's company, she's given me a pained look and told me my underwear was on backwards.

We moms of young kids spend a lot of time in the squatted position. Zipping jackets, tying shoes, wiping mouths, changing diapers on public floors, getting at eye level to say, "That. Is. Enough!" all bring us down to jean lowering, underwear raising height. So the choice is better-coverage-underwear or higher jeans. I refuse to go the mom-jean high waist route so I now opt for the edging-toward-grandma-style underwear. Although the stylish tunic length shirts have been very helpful of late. Thank you to the designers who made those fashionable. And the fashionistas who decided wearing a dress over jeans is "in" - also a big thanks.

All that being said, the thong out of the jeans look Is Not Good. And it's one of those faux pas that you can't just go over to a fellow mom and tell her. For example, if I noticed a mom with a few buttons popped open exposing her bra, I'd go over and empathetically let her know of her problem. She'd probably blush, laugh and thank me in the end. Shirt on inside out or backwards, zipper open, lipstick on the teeth, food in the teeth or toilet paper on the shoe are also examples of common problems that I'd most likely make someone aware of. But the thong out of the pants? Nope. It becomes my big secret. I'd most likely stare a little too long, nudge whoever I was with (mature of me I know), and shake my head in disgust because it just looks so WRONG. It's along the same lines as a man in a bathing suit whose "mouse is out of the house". Although that, I do not stare a little too long at... I quickly look away in disbelief and remove myself from the surrounding area.

For a while I actually think this "look" became a fashion statement in itself. It's the only reason I can think that thong designers started embellishing the top of the thong. I guess if it's going to peek out, it might as well be dazzling, right? I was hopeful this trend was on the outs and then, I actually saw this:

Yes, that's right. Thong underwear and jeans in one! One easy step. They should do this for men and their boxers. Then I wouldn't worry so much that the guy's low riding pants were going to fall right off.

So there you have it. My thong thoughts for this Saturday. And I didn't even have to sell my husband down the river.


Lindsey said...

Am laughing out loud. Recently embraced the "tunic" look, right when I finally, with a big sigh of surrender, decided to go for the skinny jeans. But I am totally giggling at how we spend a lot of time squatting. Totally. Matt has mocked me for my "whale tale" though he is glad I don't have a tattoo on my lower back. He has, of course, given Grace a temporary Dora tattoo in the tramp stamp locale just to taunt me.
Anyway, you made me laugh.
Thank you!

Kelly @ The Miller Mix said...

Ah, the dread whale tail. I gagged a little on the built-in denim one. Thanks for that! :)

Emily said...

I don't wear thongs but ever since I had kids I am conscious of the butt-crack showing! Thanks for stopping by my blog from SITS.

Shell said...

I want to know what your husband said! I can guarentee that my Hubs says worse on almost a daily basis.

I know I've been guilty of the thong or underwear or (cringe!) crack hanging out of my jeans as I squatted over. I have this thing that is sort of like a band that covers that area so that it doesn't happen, but I need it in more colors so that I can wear one every day. I have to think what the name of it is, though...

TKW said...

Those jeans are seven kinds of wrong!

Jack said...

The thong thing just rubs me the wrong way.

Headless Mom said...

OMG I hate this too.

When it happens to our daughter we threaten to cut the strings.

Anonymous said...

This thread is long dead, nonetheless... wearing a thong is also about allowing others to see it, that's part of the appeal. It's simply another eroticism of one's wardrobe. If you're content with granny panties and feel uncomfortable when lingerie is exposed then wear a potato sack.

Post a Comment

My Blog List

Mama's Drama Club

Put some faces to the names


Bringer of the Bacon


User of the Bacon


Bacon Thrower


Bacon Grabber