Thuperficial Thursday

Thorry, but I just couldn't come up with a "Th" word to go with Thursday for my superficial post (since I missed it on Saturday) so I'm going with Thilly. I hope I don't offend any lispers out there... I don't mean anything by it. I guess a safer route could have been Superficial Sursday but I'm not going back to change it now.


First impressions. We all have them. Some are accurate, some not so much. What we judge people by varies by the person. I remember after college when all my friends and I were single and we'd go out in NYC, we'd all have our "criteria" for what we looked for in a guy. It was all about first impressions in the bar scene. It was too loud and too crowded to hold a real conversation so you had to have a way to weed out those worth leaning up against the bar with to scream short banter into each other's ears. I remember one of my friend's criteria was all about the shoes a guy was wearing. Sneakers? No chance. Boat shoes? Also not given a second glance. Cowboy boots? Not unless he had a serious southern accent to woo her by his side. The shoes had to be either loafers or other black lace up shoes. Poor guys, never even knew what they had done wrong to get the cold shoulder from her. Another friend had a thing about a guy wearing button down shirt without a tshirt under it. It was a MUST. She got totally skeeved if ANY chest hair was visible. The guy could have been a George Clooney clone and still got shoved aside if one too many buttons was undone and anything but white cotton was showing. And me? I had a thing for guys in baseball hats back in my single, low 20s days. A guy with a baseball hat made me swoon. And the turn offs? Too tight jeans, big gold chains around the neck or wrist and heavy metal rocker t's. Nah, I wasn't picky.

I'm so far away from that scene today that I couldn't even tell you what would be a thumbs up or down (I couldn't even tell you what a 24 year old wears to a bar these days!) but I do still get a little judgey with first impressions. At this time of year, with all of the dinners and parties and holiday get-togethers, I'm meeting new people a few times a week. And before I start my "curious question asking" I need to know what I'm working with, right? So my judgements are all based on what people are drinking when I meet them. I realized this at a mom's dinner I went to on Tuesday night. I found myself surprised with some of my friend's drink choices and although I don't think anyone caught my eyebrows raise at a few of the orders, I noted to myself my new impression of some of the moms. I've compiled a little list of what your drink says about you (in my little judgemental head). Feel free to judge me too... I can take it.

Beer
If you're a guy and are drinking any of the basics (Bud, Amstel, Heinekin), I'm not getting much of an impression. You are either in for a long night of drinking and it's the only thing that will keep you from falling over by the end of the night, or you aren't the creative type and it's just the easiest thing to order. You probably order vanilla icecream too.
If you're a girl and are drinking any beer, you probably are the type who likes to hang with the guys. You're laid back and chill but I'd wonder if we had a lot in common. You might be too laid back and chill for me (unless we're on the beach together and you're drinking a Corona because there's nothing better).

Any regional, seasonal, limited edition, or extremely dark beer: you're a beer snob. You treat beer like wine and turn your nose up at those who drink a Bud, Amstel, Heini or any light beer. If you're a guy, I give you credit for putting some thought into your beer choice and you've raised your possible IQ by a few points. If you're a girl - same thought as the rest of the beers.

Wine: It pretty much depends on how you order the wine and how you take your first sip. If before you order a wine you inquire about its "notes" or how it breathes or what year it is, I'm impressed but will probably think you're too smart, too well-rounded, or too well traveled for simple me. If you swish it and smell it and hold it in your mouth before swallowing it, I most likely will roll my eyes at you. But only because I wish I knew more about wine and I'm jealous. If you do what my dad told me he did on his first date with my mom and order "Manishevitz sweet red wine", I'll definitely laugh at you and then hug you.

Whiskey, Scotch or Boubon: Most likely I'll say, "Woah!" and if it doesn't come out of my mouth, it will definitely be in my head. You are hard core and I'll probably stay away from you not only because your breath will smell like Whiskey, Scotch or Bourbon but because I'll assume you won't have a coherent thought by the middle of the evening and will too touchy and close talking by the end. And if you're a girl drinking any of these drinks, I'd be very impressed with your tolerance but wonder if I should arrange an intervention.

Any drink in a Martini glass: If you're a guy, I'd definitely make a comment on your frufee drink. And I'd hope you had a good sense of humor about it. If you don't laugh at my comment, then I'll think you need to chill out. If you're a girl, I will probably ask to taste your drink because I'm always looking for a new delicious drink to try but I'm too afraid to be walking around with one of those glasses because I'm too clumsy not to spill it. I will think you're fun and experimental and way chic. You're probably wearing shoes that I want too.

Champagne: You're a little too fancy for me but you're always looking to celebrate something. I'm going to assume that you like to make a statement and that you're just too good for plain old, not bubbly wine. This is actually my drink of choice, although I go one step further and add Chambourd to it and call it a Kir Royal. I'm even too fancy for myself.

Vodka straight up: You're on a diet. You will be staying away from the cheese plate and making me feel fat with my plate stacked with phyllos and stuffed mushrooms. You're a little too serious for me and I really want to tell you to relax and add some color to your drink. If it's a flavored vodka, I'll think a little further about your personality but I still will try to force some brie cheese on you.

Gin and Tonic: I will stay away from you because the smell of gin makes me want to vomit. Because I did vomit in college from doing SHOTS of gin. It was cheaper than vodka (at least the low shelf brand) and I was that type a girl. When you've finished your drink I'll definitely come chat you up because gin and tonics remind me of summer time (something my parents used to drink in the summer) and I'll think you're mellow and laid back. I might grab you to dance later.

Anything with tequilla in it: see gin and tonic for the reason why I won't be talking to you while you're drinking. I do love tequilla drinkers though. And the more tequilla drinks a person has the more I like them. They open up and answer ALL of my questions and I've found they make me laugh. Yes, my husband loves tequilla.

Any juice with seltzer: When are you due?

Drinking nothing: you make me uncomfortable because I know at any moment you'll leave me to go get a drink.

So where do you fit? Did I leave any out? Are you no longer my friend?

Want to come over for a drink?




12 comments:

Lindsey said...

Hilarious.
I always call seltzer with cranberry the pregnant drink. Do you know anyone who drinks that when they are not pregnant?

For me it's a little sadder, which is to say if we are having dinner on a Friday night and you don't even have ONE glass of wine ... well, unless you're in weeks 3-12 or doing your steps, I'm a little skeptical. My husband thinks this is pretty awful of me but come on ... just a wee glass? Seems to me to speak of relaxing and kicking back a little. But wow that is judgmental of me, no?

What do you think of women who drink their white wine on the rocks (not just one cube, but literally ON THE ROCKS) and preferably in a water glass vs a wine glass? Um, that's me.

Shell said...

I didn't know that was what a kir royale was- I love champagne and charmbourd, but never had them together.

I'm definitely a corona girl on the beach.

Othet than that, I love all the girly fruity drinks.

But, I have one for you: I'm going to a moms' night out tonight and no alcohol is allowed.I'm the one wondering if she can spike the cider with some apple vodka. What does that say about me? LOL

becca said...

Lindsey- I'm with you on having at least ONE drink. No excuse in my book. And now I understand how you can have 3-5 glassesof wine in a sitting! On the rocks, hmmmm... You must like COLD wine!

Shell- no drinks? I couldn't survive a mom's dinner without a few so I'm with you!!

My Bottle's Up! said...

this was FANTASTIC!!!! it's never even entered my realm of thought to watch what others drink, let alone analyze the person based on what is in their glass. this is probably because i am too worried about making sure my own glass is always full.

i'm a wino... wish i could be a sophisticated one, but i'm not. i buy my wine according to how cute the label is and its price.

my husband is the EXACT beer snob you described. he has books about beer, joined online beer club shit that i don't understand... it's like a hobby for him, which is cool, if that's your thing. he did turn me on to a particular stout which made me feel like a total badass because i was chick drinking a stout... and that's hot.

GREAT POST!!!

Ambrosia said...

You are going to think I am crazy, but I am a teetotaler. No alcohol for this little body. What would you be thinking as I sip my Dr. Pepper? Because really? I love Dr. Pepper. I crave DP. It is my addiction.

becca said...

Nic - I'm with you on the label... boring, sophisticated labels don't get a second glance from me. Fun art, animals, funky design... that's what I'm lookin for! My BIL makes his own beer... so I get the hobby thing.

Ambrosia - I don't think you're crazy but I WOULD think you were pregnant or driving if I saw you drinking a Doc Pep. Just a first impression! And I'd also probably be thinking you're lucky because you won't be feeling like CRAP the next day from drinking too much! :)

Kelly @ The Miller Mix said...

I love tequila. In college, my alter ego was Quitela Warrior Princess. I also enjoy gin & tonics with a splash of orange juice -- reminds me of living in Boston (despite the many nights spent head first in a trash bin).

Nicki said...

Oh, Becca! I am the dark beer or seasonal or really hoppy beer but best if on tap. I really only drink bottled beer at this one bar and that is because I think they do not clean their taps out and the Guinness made me sick one night. LMAO!

Wine - I prefer a good merlot or a white that is cold, no ice. I have a new fav that is sweet, a NYS wine made in Seneca Falls. We actually stopped at the winery on our way back from the race on Saturday. It is called Cranberry Bog - sweet with a sour kick! It needs to be slightly chilled but not really cold so I keep it in the laundry room.

Liquor - Jack on the rocks or even straight up when I was younger. Then, I went through a gin and tonic stage. Now, rum and coke, mojito, margarita (not frozen but with lots of ice).

Depends on where I am, who is driving, etc. But I am the laid back one who is usually hanging with the guys near the pool table even though I am horrible at pool.

Aidan Donnelley Rowley said...

Love this. Love the humor and memory laced in here. I have always been curious about first impressions and how much weight they carry. Have a blog post percolating about this myself. And you now have me thinking something - superficial is very much underrated. I think we should all force ourselves to talk and think about something more "superficial" at least once a week. Life can get to sober (hee hee) otherwise!

TKW said...

I LOVE THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I do exactly the same thing (judge people by what they drink). I tended bar to help with bills in graduate school, and so I definitely equate drink choice with personality.

I think a lot of your analysis is similar to mine.

But one other thing I can think of: Margarita. If you order one, you'd better be the Hell in a mexican restaurant. No other time is it acceptable. And a dude who drinks margs? Stay far away...whackjob.

Shell: I am worse than you. I would never even ATTEND a Mother's Night Out where alcohol was verboten. That is seven kinds of wrong.

The Ranting Mommy said...

OH.MY.GOD. This is the BEST post I have read in awhile! I'm with you on A LOT of it. For the record, I an a wino first and foremost. But I definitely venture into martini territory and occasionally even whiskey territory. wOOt!

I am pretty sure happy hour with you would RAWK! Thanks for giving me a great laugh!

naptimewriting said...

Totally agree with you and TKW. I thought seltzer and lime was the pregnant drink. And my drink in between Kir Royals (I thought my friend and I were the only ladies who ordered that with a straight face.)
Captain Morgan and Coke, easy on the rum, btw, is my fave. Doesn't that make me a sorority girl (at the geek sorority where we study too much to have a full shot of rum)way past her prime?
Amaretto Sour, Whiskey Sour, and all other sours: yacht club snob I don't want to hang with.
Gin Fizz? You're my mom. Because who the hell else wants egg white in a drink?
Coffee with liquor? You're probably my kind of person.
Blended drink? This is not a smoothie. It's a route to intoxication. Get a life and go to Jamba juice.

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