Hannah is newly obsessed with being a rock star.  I mean she always liked to sing,  but the term "Rock star" is pretty new.   And it's only recently that she declared she wants to be a rock star for Halloween this year.  It might have something to do with my infatuation with American Idol- she knows it's the one show on the TiVo list that is there for me.  The other 40 recorded shows are hers - all hers.  We watched one of the earlier episodes together and she talked about 'Lil as her favorite for many weeks after that.  She would always ask on Thursday if 'Lil was still on the show.  She actually spoke of 'Lil as if she was a real friend of hers (and I say that as I have just finished telling Tim that I feel like Ryan Seacrest is my friend since we "tweet").  Last week we watched some of the finale together.  Her favorite song to sing at the top of her lungs is Big Girls Don't Cry by Fergie and when I saw Fergie was going to sing on American Idol I knew Hannah would be thrilled.  And that she was - 23 Big Girls Don't Cry's later and having memorized every booty shake and lyric... Hannah was satisfied to move onto the next act of the show.  Half way through the finale she announced she wants to be an American Idol so being the supportive mommy that I am I said, "Ok Hannah we can work on that" and she said, "I want to be THAT one" pointing at Alexis Grace.  I tried to explain that if she is on American Idol she'd be herself but she just kept saying if she's on the show, that's the one she wants to be.  It was one of those going nowhere conversations where I finally just said, "ok, you can be that one".   Tonight as I was putting her to bed she said, "mommy, did you know that Rock Stars have an attitude?"  (I think I have Bebe (Tim's mom) to thank for that one... ) and laughing I said, "yes, Hannah most Rock Stars do have an attitude".  

We went to our first carnival of the carnival season yesterday (and I think it's going to be a LONG carnival season).  We had 75 minutes total for the carnival experience which included drive time to and from Bedford.   I prepped Hannah by explaining Luke needed to get home in time for his nap but promised her 3 rides and cotton candy.  Honestly, I think we could have gotten away with just the cotton candy and she would have been happy.  We ran into the carnival and the first thing Hannah had to do was... the bathroom.  There went 15 minutes especially because the bathroom was inside the school and she needed to look around (in the hallways, in the classrooms, at all the artwork, etc).  Now we really had to run from one ride to the next.  It's not easy for a 4 year old to stay focused with all of the games, food, people, rides, music, etc.  But she did great.  First ride - little cars.  She got to ride her car alone which was fun but it was too slow, "boring" she said.  Next ride, dinosaur spinning ride.  Made me want to vomit watching her and Tim on this one but at least she didn't look like she was going to fall asleep.  Third ride - elephant flying ride.  I did this one with her.  Up and down, round and round.  I'm still spinning.   Last ride - ferris wheel.  I. Was. Terrified.  I had to pretend I wasn't nervous so she would stay calm but holy shit... we were HIGH!  Couldn't have ended soon enough for me... I think I might have actually screamed at one point since the kids in front of us (below us) looked up at me like whose the lame mommy...  thank god, time was up.  We sprinted to the cotton candy station, picked up the goods and were out of there.  And we had one sticky faced, blue mouthed, HAPPY little girl.

You know that mom who you see watching their kid and you just have to roll your eyes over how worked up and animated they get over their kid?  Because really, you just don't care so much about any other kid... only your own, right (or is that just me?)  So I was that mom today.  Hannah has been struggling with building up enough confidence to swim on her own.  We all have known she CAN do it but she just wouldn't.  And we're desperate for her to learn to swim.  The thought of chasing both kids around our pool all summer, frantic over them falling in just doesn't sound appealing.  (I swear I'll have them both wearing swim vests from the second they get up in the morning until the moment they go to bed.  It won't matter if they are in the kitchen eating lunch, napping, riding their bikes in the driveway or blowing bubbles in the yard.  Because you just never know when a strong force wind will come and blow them into the pool.) Hannah's excuse recently has been, "mommy I just don't think I've eaten enough green vegetables so I'm not strong enough".  She kept saying, "when I'm ready, I'll do it".  Can't argue with that logic.  The past 2 weeks she's cried and cried during class, grasping onto the edge of the pool.  I'd see her little mouth mouthing, "Mommy, I don't want to, Mommy tell her I'm not ready".  It was heartbreaking.  But today, some burst of confidence must have overtaken her because she did it!  She swam about 20 feet a number of times ON. HER. OWN!  And I was the crazy mommy jumping up and down, yelling "YEAH HANNAH!" and looking around for everyone else to applaud right along with me.  But for some reason they were watching their own children and didn't seem to care much about mine.